Every open letter, as it lands — read, react, reply. It's the 1800s, but on the internet.
Dear Tesla, I love the car but the retractable door handles freeze shut every winter and my mother could not get in. Please bring back a handle a human can actually grab. Innovation should not require a tutorial to open a door.
— Range Anxiety
Dearest Mark, I forgave you for turning the algorithm into whatever in the TikTok it is today. I watched the legion of followers I had amassed turn to dust overnight as you gated my reach at levels that sometimes feel like a shadow ban. All this I forgave and continued to spend…
— A bitter customer
Dearest Dario, Firstly, let me just say, congratulations on claiming the number one spot in frontier intelligence. I'm sure Sam and Elon wake in cold sweats to nightmares of your rim-horned face standing over them. I'm not quite sure what Mark is doing, but they will get their…
— A heavy user
Jude Okoye, congratulations on being the most hated Nigerian by Nigerians. You really took that from Tinubu. Yeah your work rate sucks. Fix up so you can go back to second place where you actually belong. You can even take 5th place slot behind FFK, Reno, VDM and Satan. Surely yo…
— A hater in Lagos
Big Wiz, every December we wait. The city lights up, the playlists change, and still no headline show from you. This is my official petition, stamped and sealed: come home and give us the concert we deserve. I have been streaming Made in Lagos since it dropped and I think that ea…
— A hopeful fan
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